It didn't happen overnight.
In my youth, I was always a big kid. My family owned an off-license. I had unlimited access to all the treats I wanted, and a lot of my eating was out of comfort to help me deal with the depression felt. I started training when I was 13 years old as a way of dealing with my depression. I was not being happy with my body, and felt left out of society. I still didn't fully grasp the importance of nutrition at this point. I trained hard, gaining a lot of strength, but I still ate poorly.
As the years progressed, I qualified as a trainer and gained the knowledge I needed to change my physique. However, I was still focused on the strength element rather than the physique development side of things. I would use foods that weren’t nutrient-dense to fill my calories, resulting in fat gains and inflammation.
In 2012 I'd had enough. so I did a complete 180 and dropped my calorie intake to help me lose weight. I was only eating two meals a day with a shake for an afternoon snack. It resulted in me losing 12kg and being the lightest I'd been in a very long time, but that didn't last.
In early 2013 I was diagnosed with stage III Hodgkin's lymphoma with six months of chemotherapy ahead of me. I knew I would be okay with cancer and that I'd make it through. I couldn't work as a trainer that year, but my attitude of not giving up gave me the strength to carry on helping my father in the family business. This is where things began to change. The tiredness would get the better of me, but I'd keep going. So to fuel the work, I'd turn to instant energy in the form of fizzy drinks, sweets, and other confectioneries.
I didn't notice it at first, but slowly, my weight crept up, and six months later, I weighed 120kg. I'd put on over 40+kg. You'd think the chemotherapy would be the most complex challenge, but at least with that, I knew it had an end date. It took me a while to get back into training, but the little things you take for granted, like climbing the stairs, going for a walk, or managing body weight, became a chore.
Fast forward to 2015. I'd got back to work a whole year after chemotherapy, and I had to get a grip of my weight. I managed to drop 20kg, but I was still heavy, weighing around 92kg/202lbs. My confidence was nonexistent. I remember going to the gym and being afraid to shower out of fear of being judged, and I always felt the eyes were on me when I was training. I felt so low and worthless. I'd always instill in others that our confidence came from within and not the outward appearance, but it still held me back. The following years were an uphill battle of dieting and going from one extreme to another to drop my weight. No matter how I felt, I was grateful for those moments because they gave a greater understanding and empathy for people who'd be in similar positions.
By 2017 I'd done well in dropping my weight, managing my calorie intake, and taking a sustainable approach. I hit 77kg/169lbs, but I still didn't feel I was in a good enough position. One of my childhood friends and his wife had moved to Sydney in late 2017, and over the following months, I'd visited them frequently. I fell in love with the city. In early 2018, I decided to move to Sydney and solely focus on my training. I would be away from all the things that triggered me to binge eat and doubt my worth.
A week after arriving, I'd joined the local gym and created a space for me to prove to myself that I could take my physique to a new level and achieve something that seemed like a dream. Four months later, I'd dropped down to 62kg/136lb. It was the lightest I'd been since I could remember. The journey to lose the weight I gained during chemotherapy wasn't a three, six, or twelve-month process. It was a journey that took me over four years.
Losing body fat is more than an equation of calories in and out. There are deep-rooted beliefs and habits that cannot be resolved overnight and require an approach that helps manage those barriers. You will find many methods to lose weight, and many will achieve the desired results, but as a coach, I've learned to embrace a steady approach to find the solutions which create sustainable long-term results and provide you with the education to not go back to square one. How we define health is unique to our circumstances, and it's something to approach with care.
